Linggo, Hunyo 3, 2012

Young and Wild and Free

Sometimes, I would feel like a freak because I am one of the youngest positives in my hub in RITM Alabang. I am just twenty. I know. I always get the reaction that I am too young. Most of the people there are 24 above usually from what I have observed. But I would be honest. Even as a boy of 16, I have been very promiscuous and only the Creator knows what kind of debauched and lascivious acts I have done through the years. I started my sex life very early, around the time I was seven or eight years old. I was introduced to sex in an incestuous manner and I remember that even as a pre-adolescent boy barely past ten years old, I was already addicted to getting cock. I estimated that I slept already with at least a hundred men in the last five years of my life. But if you ask me how many times I have done the actual deed, I can say I may have had sex for at least 1000 times. I am not kidding. I am really a hypersexed individual, before and even now that I am positive. I was very much in touch with my sexuality because I know who I am and I am comfortable with my sexuality. I also know what I want and what I desire to do.
It was surprising that I did not discover that I am positive at a younger age. I actually have two strains of HIV, a testament to my decadence. But to be honest, I think I may have had the virus for years. My college life was the peak of my promiscuity. I used to do it at least twice a week and an average of 5 different guys a month. When I met my boyfriends (of which I have only four serious ones), I would be monogamous depending on the situation. I had an ex-boyfriend of two years that we would call POY. He was as addicted to sex and wild as I am that we used to do it almost every day, all the time bareback. He would fuck me until I bleed and he would ALWAYS come inside my ass or my mouth, and I will do the same for him sometimes. It’s no wonder I and he are both HIV+ now, as well as his new boyfriend (more about POY in the next posts).
Now that I am positive, I believe that I can still be who I am. In fact, I am still having sex in my own way. Instead of doing penetrative sex acts, I do other alternatives which I will discuss in detail in the next posts I will make.
I told myself that I should get at least a CD4 of 350 before I do it with another person. That is my motivation to be back in good shape as fast and as well as I can. I will give myself six months to do that. I know I will miss cock so much. It will be hard. I will be like curing an addiction. But I should sacrifice for the sake of my health and well-being. This is for my own good anyway. If I insist on being as promiscuous as I was before, I may be dead in no time. And death means no sex, unless my corpse will be raped by necrophiliacs.
Honestly, it’s up to you if you will abstain or be celibate after being positive. I respect people who decided that they would lay off sex from now on and be good. But as for me, I love sex. And I would not let this virus stop me from feeling all the pleasure that I want and I am used to. But of course, now, things will be so much different.
I have five rules for myself:
Like I always say, this is just me. I do not encourage you to be like me. I am just sharing who I am and what I think but I may not be right all the time. If you respect my thoughts and opinions, I would definitely respect yours too. If you think I am wrong, that is up to you. I do not claim to be perfect; I am just simply being ME.
I, posithivecutie, will always be who I am. Virus or no virus, I am so much happy with my life right now!

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