The Doctor Who Loves Semen

I wrote this story after my first visit to the derma in the hospital I go to. I met a spectacularly handsome young dermatologist whom I would just call Dr. M.A. who checked my skin. He concluded I had dermatitis and recommended some lotion. He is so yummy that I memorized his name in order to find him in Facebook later. I even pretended I had something on my groin area. He took me to the examination room and asked me to pull down my underwear and he checked it. 

I think he noticed I was really hungry for him and I think he liked the attention. He kept smiling throughout the consultation and I was feeling so horny and brave that I simply kept looking at him straight to his eyes as we talk because I would like him to read my desire. I enjoyed my visit a lot and I look forward to concocting false dermatological symptoms so that my beloved Dr. M.A. would examine me further.

THE DOCTOR WHO LOVES SEMEN

Merwynn detested going to the doctors. He loathed the method the
waiting rooms smelled like formaldehyde. He hated the rude nurses and the many
insurance forms and the invasive procedures. There were many things that
Merwynn disliked about his annual checkup, but of all his reasons, the very
worst was that Dr. Mikhail Acosta was a cambion. 




A cambion is the child of a human and an incubus and they need
semen and milk to stay young, beautiful and alive, kind of a vampire but they
like white stuff instead. They can easily lead normal lives if they want but
they really have voracious appetites for sex and they have the tendency to kill
their partners because their bodies absorb too much energy and semen when they
are penetrated. You will be lucky if you just lost consciousness and get into a
coma for a week due to extreme lack of seminal fluids.




"The doctor will see you now," said the handsome nurse,
after taking his blood pressure and checking his pulse to see if he was still
alive. Merwynn was. 

"Are you sure?" asked Merwynn. "Because, you know,
I wouldn't want to be a bother or anything. It's only a ruptured liver, slowly
leaking its poisons into my insides. I don't mind the pain." 

The nurse smiled at him and Merwynn reflexively smiled back before
realizing that the nurse is also a cambion with some semen still wet on his
lips. That’s why he saw a patient going out of the clinic with a big smile on
his face. 




Quickly, Merwynn suppressed his smile and the nurse walked out,
licking his lips like a whore in heat. Even Merwynn felt a pang of excitement
watching him go. Cambions naturally attract all men. 




Thankfully, there was always a long waiting time at Dr. Mikhail
Acosta's office, so Merwynn pulled out his lunch that he'd packed, oh so
carefully, that morning. He had just unwrapped his meal of sisig and unscrewed
his thermos lid when the door opened. Merwynn winced. The doctor had
arrived. 

Dr. Mikhail Acosta looked the same as always. His hair was dark
and messy and his eyebrows were thick enough that, if they were replaced with
wooly caterpillars during the night, no one would notice. His eyes were the
most beautiful shade of brown on the planet and, weird as it was, Merwynn
suspected that the doctor used nail clippers on his eyelashes: there was
something strangely 'trimmed' about them that bugged Merwynn immensely. Of
course, it was needless to say that the doctor was extremely handsome and he
was completely naked under his lab coat.

"And how are...." Dr. Mikhail Acosta trailed off,
staring down at Merwynn's lunch he'd spread out on the examination table. 




"Um," said Merwynn, "is something wrong?"




"Why are you eating some sisig?" Dr. Mikhail Acosta
asked. 




"No reason. It just sounded good." 

"And the fact that you're washing it down with...." Dr. Mikhail
Acosta picked up the thermos and cautiously sniffed the contents. "....a
cup of holy water?" 




Merwynn stared down at his hands. "Well, I thought it would
go well with the sandwich."

"What?" Dr. Mikhail Acosta yelled. "Regular water
suddenly isn't good enough for you? You have to use holy water?" 

"It sounded good! It's extra holy and it has alkalines!"
Merwynn protested. 

"Hmpth," said Dr. Mikhail Acosta, crossing his arms
irately. "I see what you're doing. A subtle form of intimidation, is it? I
am not avampire or an aswang , my dear sir" Then a gleam came to his eye
and he leaned in, staring at Merwynn with a knowing look. "Or are you one
of those people who thinks that, just because I'm a cambion, I am a spawn of
hell? No sir. Even martyrs and saints dedicated to celibacy will want to make
love to such a beauty as I am." 




"No, no, of course not!" cried Merwynn. "I just
don’t like the fact that you suck my cock after every examination!" 




"It’s the technical procedure," said Dr. Mikhail Acosta.
"If you want to be healthy and your semen samples be fully analyzed and be
ensured that they are the best quality, I have to do a taste test to know your
sugar levels or if you have some other diseases or what. It’s all in the semen.
It’s called semen prognosis. It’s a revolutionary trend now in medicine. They
train us to suck good. It’s for your own good.." 

Merwynn sputtered and tried to argue, but somewhere inside himself
he began to realize that Dr. Mikhail Acosta was correct. He likes it when the
handsome doctor starts to kneel down and you know, put him in his mouth...
After all, he’s beginning to feel gayer and gayer every time he checks up
himself here, isn’t he? He could go to a vampire doctor or an aswang one or
even a normal boring doctor but why Dr. Mikhail Acosta? Why?

Deeply ashamed of himself, he grabbed his sisig meal and threw it
in the biohazard wastebasket. After pouring the holy water down the drain of
the sink, Merwynn turned to the doctor and looked down at the floor in guilt.

"You're right, Dr. Mikhail Acosta. I'm sorry I was too biased.
I was being prejudiced against you for drinking my semen, instead of judging
you based on the quality of your character. Dr. Martin Luther King would be so
ashamed of me." 

Trying to blink away the tears, Merwynn felt a pat on his
shoulder. 

"That's okay, Merwynn. I forgive you." 

"Thanks, Dr. Mikhail Acosta," Merwynn said. "You're
one heck of a guy." 




"Just call me Master and King of your Sex Dreams," Dr. Mikhail
Acosta demurred. "Now, please pull down your pants and bend over so I can
start your penile exam." 




"Hey, wait!" protested Merwynn. "I don't need one
of those! My liver got ruptured this morning! That's why I made the
appointment!" 




"Excuse me? Who is the doctor and who is the patient
here?" inquired Dr. Mikhail Acosta, lifting a hairy eyebrow. "Or do
you think you know better than someone with a PhD, just because you’re not a
cambion?" 

Don't be too sensitive, yelled Merwynn's conscience. 




Sighing, he pulled down his pants and spread his legs open. To his
surprise, his cock was erect and bursting with precome. 

“Oh no. Sucking won’t be enough for this case,” smiled the
handsome doctor. He dropped his coat and placed himself against Merwynn,
pushing his cock in his own ass in one slip. Merwynn groaned with extreme
pleasure. They made love for an hour and when Merwynn was about to come, Dr.
Acosta let out a huge moan as the semen spilled inside him. Then he quickly
pulled himself away.

“Can’t stay too long. My body is hungering for your semen so much
that I may kill you. But don’t worry everything’s fine. Your sugar levels are
normal and still negative for STDS and HIV according to my anal taste buds.”

“Thank you so much.”

"By the way," said Dr. Mikhail Acosta as he poked and
prodded, "I'll need you to suck me. For, uhm, research purposes. Cambion
semen seems to have a lot of regenerative qualities like virgin coconut oil,
only much more delicious, cheaper and available." 




He dropped his lab coat and a glorious cock (only the word
glorious could describe it) announced its presence in front of Merwynn. 

“Research and medicinal purposes, right?” Merwynn said, his mouth
dropping open as he gazed at the doctor's organ.

“Of course. Purely for scientific endeavors.”




Merwynn said no more. His mouth was filled. And some time later,
also his ass.

He started loving going to the doctors. Especially to Dr. Mikhail
Acosta.

Phoning my Daddy

The safest and yet still very arousing sex is phone sex.

No risk of any transmission or infection.

I never was a fan of this before. I found this exercise to be boring and not worth my time. I’d rather go out there and be pumped full of come until I bleed out my guts, rather than indulge with someone on the other end of the line, moaning and saying dirty stuff.

However, due to my sudden curiosity to try everything (which was greatly induced by being sex-starved and cock-less because of my status), I ventured into trying this kind of intercourse.

As far as I could remember, it was Pat who devirginized my ears into this. He is an HIV + guy with a really hot body to boast. He could be one of the models featured in gay magazines or a porn actor. His looks were sultry and hot, exotic for he is kayumanggi and he seems to be oozing with sex appeal all the time. And that is all in his gorgeously taken pictures I saw in his Facebook. We haven’t met in person yet but still, I would love to be rammed by someone with a body as enticing as Pat’s. I would agree to be a slave to all his twisted desires.

He told me he had sex with more than 400 men in his twenty-seven years of existence. That’s pretty much a testament on how desirable he is. He tried almost everything from being versa, sadomasochism, gang bangs, and whatever. He was a slut, just like me. But now, he admits that after being positive, he stopped doing what he loves – sex. He was now more focused on meeting people that matter and not indulge in casual shallow encounters which was his way of life before.

I love Pat’s voice. It sounds manly and yet still tender and soft-spoken. It would help that he came from the Visayan region and he was also a graduate from a good university in the Philippines. He is smart, sweet and yummy – things I adore in a guy. We enjoyed talking to each other and found many similarities existing between us. I got horny so my lascivious nature activated. I lured him into having sex with me.

He was game for it. It was already very early in the morning but I found some energy to indulge in something twisted and erotic. We started telling each other what we were doing in whispery bed-time voices, giving details to compensate our lack of visual experience by making use of our active listening skills and our imagination. I felt so hot talking to him that I could not help but start touching myself. Hearing Pat’s voice next to my ear made my whole body shudder in anticipation. His personality changed. He talked like a sex maniac, saying swear words crisply and with ease and he told me what he was doing to me. I got my dildo and imagined him entering my ass. The feeling of the length of the dildo inside me shocked my wanton asshole that was hungry for cock and some action. I started riding the dildo, my muscles clenching around it in such a beautiful painful way as I listened to Pat’s moans and instructions. God, I missed dick! The experience felt like real sex because Pat and I were so intense and it really helped that something firm and long was lodged deep inside my hole, pleasuring my anal walls and sending torrents of ecstasy across my sex-starved body.

I got a really good orgasm. I came a lot and I found myself exhausted yet beaming with joy, the way I get whenever someone would fuck me real good. Pat was instantly back into his kind nature. I thanked him for this experience and I simply wanted more.

We had a repeat performance a few hours later, the afternoon of the same day. I did the same thing, which was to insert a dildo in my ass while Pat fucked me with his voice. Now, we had a little role play. He was my Daddy and I was his naughty son. I asked my Daddy to punish me because I did something wrong and my Daddy started fucking me because I was so so bad. I was moaning and crying in pain. I internalized this incestuous scenario in a Freudian way. I really felt like that misbehaving sex-addicted son who was getting meat from his own father. I begged for mercy, I begged for love, I begged my Daddy to punish me more. My orgasm was more explosive than the first. I was nearly in tears when my sperm started pouring out of my tumescent cock.

Using my imagination is really the best way for me now to have sex. My hand is always my trusted friend. I can still be promiscuous with as many men as I want and we would lose nothing but semen if we engage into these terrific phone sex sessions. A sort of intimate connection is created between me and my phone sex buddy. Like with Pat, our auditory copulation made me closer to him and I felt that when the time comes when we can actually meet each other in person, we would definitely blow each other’s minds.

My Art

One of my many guises is that I am an artist. I paint, I make artworks, I try to deviant and unique.

Some of my artworks can be found here: http://sputnikoi.deviantart.com

My main themes are homoerotic or gay art. I want to be famous in this field. I want our patriarchal society to appreciate the fantastic and enticing beauty of men. I do not know a famous painter here in the Philippines who got famous with nude males. If there is, kindly tell me. If there is not, I want to be the best one there is.

I find the male body as an endless source of inspiration. I love to draw the sinewy torsos of naked men with desirous faces illuminated with lust and love. I want to draw the might of strong hard cocks pointing upwards to the sun.

I am a slave to art. I can proudly say that I know my art well. I have a lot of art books and books on art history. I am well-informed about the greatest painters and their styles.

I found myself drawn to Art Nouveau, Surrealism, Modern Art and Expressionism. My most favorite artists are Gustav Klimt, Egon Schiele, Leonora Carrington, Frida Kahlo, and many more. I am contemporary, but I am well-informed with the art of the past. These art genres are mixed in my own art so that I can create something beautiful and wildly unique and refreshing to the eyes of others. I am not afraid to be called weird or strange. I love it when people see that I am different. I love it when people appreciate my bizarre character.

My art is an expression of who I am. You can see a little bit of me in my artworks. I am deviant. I am sexual. I am lascivious. I am shocking. I am disturbing. I really do not care. I just love being who I am and not be afraid and conscious of what others would say.

Here is a fine example.

What is this shit?

This is one of my most shocking and unique artworks. Truly an manifestation of who I am.

Why so?

Read my next post as I discuss my invented art form - Semen Art!

Temptation

Rather than feel shame or be scared of people who express their sexual interest with me, I actually like to commend them for being true to their feelings. This world needs a lot of honest and open-minded people. I am tired of the lies and the sanctimony that most of the mediocre members of the masses try so hard to put up.

I am not afraid to be who I am. If I want something, I do my best to get it. I am so open and direct. If I like you, I tell you. If I find you handsome or yummy, I would gladly say it to your face. If I desire to spend some fun with you, you bet that I will flirt with you non-stop until you get interested with me.

I like unleashing the hidden desires in the people I meet. I want them to talk about sex. I want them to be unapologetic and unabashed with their basic instincts. I cultivate these thoughts and I try to do what I can in order to feed their lasciviousness. I want people to be in touch with their sexuality. I do not want them to be afraid and hide their sexual perversions behind a great lock. I want them to open their hearts to me and just share what they want.

I am like a tempting serpent. I like to think of myself as a half-human, half-incubus young sexy harlot who wakes up the deepest and darkest desires in everyone I meet. If I arouse you, tell me, and let's do something about that. I find it really cute when people start to open up to me and just let me uncover their debauched minds and the release the heat of their wanton flesh. I like to be there for people who need to unleash their true and deeply-ingrained wants and needs. I offer myself to those who are honest (and good-looking) enough to forget their virginal and chaste outer surfaces, and just show me the red-hot sex lover they have always been and have tried to suppress.

People! You do not need to hide! You do not need to be afraid! Just be who you are and people would actually respect you more with that. If you love sex, then be honest with it. I do not support people who pretend to be what they are not. I hate those people who like to appear goody goody for everyone but then, they indulge their perversions in secrecy. We must never apologize to what we truly am. As long as you know who you are and you are not afraid to express yourself, you will have all the dignity and self-respect you need.

Cannot be

ARTWORK BY ME

I love Deo. I do not know if he loves me too. He is really nice to me and I like to think that maybe he is a little interested with me. Even a little. I do not want to assume anything. All I can say is that I feel beautiful with him. I feel wanted. He is a friend, a brother, a guide, a counselor, a quasi-lover. He is the first man who have kissed me despite knowing that I am HIV positive. I fell hard for him but something really nags me.

I cannot be with Deo right now as his boyfriend.

First of all, he is negative!!! I will just be paranoid whenever we have sex in the future. I will be scared if he will be contaminated. We can actually have safe sex. But I am afraid of a time we would get so horny and no condoms are available that we would do it bareback. It would be a disaster for me if I infect him. I would not forgive myself. I know I have the tendency to be so rash and irresponsible with the things I do. Especially when it comes to sex. And how I love it bareback! I miss come inside my ass mixed with my blood after a really good and satisfying fuck session. I love the feeling of warm semen stinging my innards because of rough hard pumping. I love the taste of bittersweet come in my mouth. I am scared that I will forget myself if I had sex with Deo. But I cannot help but desire him so.

Secondly, he told me he is not looking for a partner yet. He is actually dating multiple guys even now. Well, it is his life anyway. I get jealous and I tell him but it does not matter if I do. We are not committed anyway so all I can do is to act cute. We are having our own twisted way of arousing and teasing each other. We are very naughty to each other in our own way. Last afternoon, we had phone sex for the first time while I masturbated. I imagined him on top of me, making some bad romance upon my young ill body and taking his fill. Masturbating to the voice of someone you really like is such a big turn on.

Then I sent him naughty videos of me almost naked and masturbating while watching porn. He sent me his own video where he was making love with another guy. They were kissing and sucking each other. I saw Deo naked for the first time and I was so hungry for him. He looks so much better naked. He is really a charming guy but he is a lot better-looking without his clothes. I saw how he made the other guy moan and twist in pleasure. He is good, really good. I saw his wild passionate side and I love it. Because I am the same too. I am sure that if we ever get each other to bed, we would match each other’s intensity. We would truly enjoy each other. In a weird way, I was jealous watching him do it with another guy. But I could not stop watching it over and over. I could not help not jerk off while hearing their cries of ecstasy. My only consolation is that I did not see him fuck the guy. I will be really jealous in that case but because I am a masochist, I think I will endure and take pleasure in that emotional and psychological torture.

I want Deo. I want him inside me so bad…

But it must wait. My CD4 is just 2. I told him that if my CD4 increases to 350, he could fuck me. For now, I guess we could only make out and just spend our time having sex in various non-penetrative ways. I am taking care of my body well. I want that time to finally taste Deo to happen soon. My next CD4 count is on August. But to be honest, I cannot wait any longer. I want Deo so bad. These emotions he makes me suffer are such a daily torture. Mental agony in its most sadomasochistic form. This is so effing twisted the way I like it.

I told him that if we cannot be together right now, it is okay. I am not in a hurry. I do not want to lose him ever. I will just let him play as much as he want because I myself is just playing with a lot of guys. Nothing serious for now. I just want Deo to be here with me. No commitments or whatever. Just a special kind of friendship (with benefits)? 

I hope that when the time he is ready, I will be a potential candidate for the partner he would want to have. I told him to help me change into a person he can fall in love with. It is too early for that. I can be contented with what we have right now. But I want hope that he may also fall for me too. As in fall in love with me big time. He really seems like a perfect boyfriend. He is the one guy whom I welcomed in my heart after almost a year of being single. He is the one I see that could make me happy and whom I want to make happy as well. 

I will start slowly. Deo already came into our house and I will little by little introduce him to my family as a friend. I want them to like him. I want him to be welcome here in our house anytime he would like to see me. Deo and I have plans so that he would make a good impression. I am keeping my fingers crossed. 

This is so amazing!

In Love with Deo

ARTWORK BY ME =P

I have a new sexual preference after I got diagnosed. I want a poz boyfriend. But to be honest, I am finding it hard to reconcile this with my real emotions. I am in love with Deo. So bad. I am miserably in love with him.

I do not really know what I am for Deo. He calls me his “little boy.” I call him my Kuya. He is a counselor, a friend, a long-distance lover all at the same time. A special friend with strange and bizarre benefits. We care for each other, we want each other, we are affected by each other. It is hard to define what to call this relationship. At first, he was just a simple older brother type of guy who helps me cope with my HIV status by showing his concern and being a friend who is there to listen to me.

But since that kiss, I am so confused. But I loved every bit of it. I loved the way it sent shivers across my spine. I cried to him the next day and told him that I wish he would always be there for me. I do not care if he dates other men or gets a boyfriend as long as he is here, caring for me. He said he would always be here. I really hope so. I really do.

He said he kissed me because he felt like doing so. Because he wanted to. I know it does not mean he wants something serious. Maybe that is the only explanation – he felt like doing so. Well, maybe I am still attractive even with HIV. Despite my CD4 of just 2, I can say that I still look fine and somewhat healthy. And maybe a little cute and yummy still. I am a vain boy so just let me feel this way about myself. Deo told me that he still finds me sexy and I still give a boner even after I told him I am a squid. This really touched me to my marrows. I felt accepted… And loved.

I always remind Deo that I love him. I am always expressive and open. Unlike other people who is afraid to tell their beloveds their true emotions, I am more uncomfortable if I do not tell that person what he means to me. I always tell Deo I love him over and over again. I always thank him for taking care of me and for indulging me. I am grateful of his time for me.

I told him to just let me love him. He does not have to love me back. This is my problem. I just want someone to love right now, someone to make me smile and feel great about myself. And Deo is really the guy that makes me desirous with life. With him, being with him, talking to him, thinking of him, I am invincible. His presence in my life right now strengthens me. I need this strength, not because I feel weak with my disease, but because I need someone to inspire me to be the best that I can be.

I don’t know why Deo is like this with me. I do not know if he has ulterior motives. But I guess not. I hope not. What can he want from a silly naïve average-looking yet maybe somewhat yummy HIV positive guy like me? I asked him why he is kind to me. Is it like this because he feels pity for my situation? I do not need pity because I myself do not feel that my life right now is piteous. In fact, I am super enjoying it. Well, does he only like to get me into bed? I would gladly let him. He can use me all he wants but then, I really feel that there may be something else. Maybe he sees me as his little brother. An incestuous little boy. He actually sounds like my Dad. When he reprimands me about things, he speaks with brutal honesty and anger, the way a parent would scold a naughty son. He would tell me hurtful things but then, I realize that he does that because he wants me to be better. He wants me to be more mature and change my naïve attitude.

But then again, I like to think that maybe, just maybe, he may start to fall in love with me too. 

Benefits of Having a Poz Boyfriend

ARTWORK BY ME =P

You can understand each other better than anyone who is not HIV positive.

You can feel closer to him because of your similar status.

You can always be sure that you would take care of each other because you both are taking care of yourselves as well.

You can remind each other to take ARVs on time.

You can have someone to go with when you go to your hubs.

You can openly tell anything about your infections and pains to each other without fear of being rejected.

You can never be lonely because you both are on the same boat.

You can have all the sex you want because there’s no fear of transmission anymore.

You can be more expressive and hardcore when it comes to sex.

You can fall madly deeply and foolishly in love with fear.

Should HIV negatives sleep with positives

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniel-vaillancourt/strange-bedfellows-hiv-serosorting_b_1533527.html?ref=gay-voices

KUYA DEO

A guy I really like visited me the other day. Yes, he was the one I am talking to in the earlier post (positHIVely in love). Who was he? Let’s call him KUYA DEO.

I met him in Planetromeo, pre-HIV. I was still a young slut who wants to devour every attractive man who comes to my path. Anyway, Kuya DEO and I somehow found each other’s profile. I think I was the one who messaged him first. Why? Because I want sex and he is cute enough to get that sex I wanted. We exchanged numbers and planned to meet. He would call me or I would call him.

He has a really good voice and a nice accent, a thing I really dig with guys. I like men who speak with a rich boy accent. A man does not have to be rich to please me. I just want him to sound good when speaking in English. Kuya DEO’s voice is really manly and yummy. Just by his voice, I am sure that I’d hop on any bed with him and frolic all over his body. I’ll let him fuck me until I bleed.

Though our intentions were sexual, we sometimes talked about Deondane things too. Honestly, I enjoyed talking to him that I got a little scared to actually meet him. What if he just wants sex? What if we won’t be friends anymore after it? What if he won’t like me? What if he would regret seeing me? So basically, I was a little half-hearted with actually seeing him. I wanted to but then, I did not want this companionship to end.

Eventually a lot of things happened. I got tested. It was confirmed that I was HIV + just last March. My hub was at RITM Alabang. I started seeing my doctors. I started talking to other people. I started coping with my condition. (more about this in the next posts)

So anyway, I and Kuya Deo were not talking in a while after I learned about my status. I was very busy with a lot of things which I will talk about more in other posts. Then suddenly, as I was browsing through my phone, I saw his number and decided to call him. I was ready to admit  that I am a positive. I am always very dramatic whenever I tell people about my status. So I did not tell it to him straight. He got vexed and just asked me what it is and that I should just tell it to him straight. I told him. He just said, “Okay, so what do you want me to do?” in a somehow irritated manner. I just told him, “Nothing. Just sharing. That’s all. Okay, bye.” He said, “Okay.” Then he hung up.

I was very stunned after. I thought he was insensitive. I felt he did not care one bit. Well, he texted later that he is used to that because in fact, he belongs to an organization related to HIV/AIDS. He even called me later in a Deoch more gentle demeanor.

I thought I would lose him but in fact, we got better as friends. We seemed to really talk after that. Talk, meaning we actually are trying to really know each other, not just talking about when to fuck. Well, since I told him about it, I guess I am already off his list of fuckable individuals. I really don’t mind. He seems really nicer as a friend or an older brother. He would call me sometimes just to have some chat or just talk to me. I would tell him things about me or my condition. He is always very helpful and kind to me. He would even reprimand me because I always forget to take my ARV’s on time.

I told him that actually, I really want him. I really still do. But then, my desire for him was replaced by respect. I told him that thinking about making love with him is like wanting to make love with a professor or a teacher. No matter how Deoch you want it, it sounds wrong and you should not even attempt to do that since a teacher or professor is someone of higher level than you. There should be respect. So all I am trying to say is that I respect him now. But what I am really trying to tell him is that – YOU CAN STILL DO IT WITH ME IF YOU STILL WANT TO.

Young and Wild and Free

Sometimes, I would feel like a freak because I am one of the youngest positives in my hub in RITM Alabang. I am just twenty. I know. I always get the reaction that I am too young. Most of the people there are 24 above usually from what I have observed. But I would be honest. Even as a boy of 16, I have been very promiscuous and only the Creator knows what kind of debauched and lascivious acts I have done through the years. I started my sex life very early, around the time I was seven or eight years old. I was introduced to sex in an incestuous manner and I remember that even as a pre-adolescent boy barely past ten years old, I was already addicted to getting cock. I estimated that I slept already with at least a hundred men in the last five years of my life. But if you ask me how many times I have done the actual deed, I can say I may have had sex for at least 1000 times. I am not kidding. I am really a hypersexed individual, before and even now that I am positive. I was very much in touch with my sexuality because I know who I am and I am comfortable with my sexuality. I also know what I want and what I desire to do.

It was surprising that I did not discover that I am positive at a younger age. I actually have two strains of HIV, a testament to my decadence. But to be honest, I think I may have had the virus for years. My college life was the peak of my promiscuity. I used to do it at least twice a week and an average of 5 different guys a month. When I met my boyfriends (of which I have only four serious ones), I would be monogamous depending on the situation. I had an ex-boyfriend of two years that we would call POY. He was as addicted to sex and wild as I am that we used to do it almost every day, all the time bareback. He would fuck me until I bleed and he would ALWAYS come inside my ass or my mouth, and I will do the same for him sometimes. It’s no wonder I and he are both HIV+ now, as well as his new boyfriend (more about POY in the next posts).

Now that I am positive, I believe that I can still be who I am. In fact, I am still having sex in my own way. Instead of doing penetrative sex acts, I do other alternatives which I will discuss in detail in the next posts I will make.

I told myself that I should get at least a CD4 of 350 before I do it with another person. That is my motivation to be back in good shape as fast and as well as I can. I will give myself six months to do that. I know I will miss cock so much. It will be hard. I will be like curing an addiction. But I should sacrifice for the sake of my health and well-being. This is for my own good anyway. If I insist on being as promiscuous as I was before, I may be dead in no time. And death means no sex, unless my corpse will be raped by necrophiliacs.

Honestly, it’s up to you if you will abstain or be celibate after being positive. I respect people who decided that they would lay off sex from now on and be good. But as for me, I love sex. And I would not let this virus stop me from feeling all the pleasure that I want and I am used to. But of course, now, things will be so much different.

I have five rules for myself:

ABSOLUTELY NO MORE BAREBACK!!!!!!!!

ALWAYS DO IT CLEAN AND SAFE.

EXPLORE OTHER ALTERNATIVES TO SEX AND OTHER WAYS TO HAVE SEX.

RESPECT YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO HAVE FUN!

Like I always say, this is just me. I do not encourage you to be like me. I am just sharing who I am and what I think but I may not be right all the time. If you respect my thoughts and opinions, I would definitely respect yours too. If you think I am wrong, that is up to you. I do not claim to be perfect; I am just simply being ME.

I, posithivecutie, will always be who I am. Virus or no virus, I am so much happy with my life right now!